It's painful, but necessary.
...and I wouldn't recommend looking up pictures of it on Google.
At this time of year, I always look back over things and start to panic. My life flashes before my eyes, and I realize just how little I value my Jesus and my relationship with Him. By the end of the year, He's often become Someone on the backburner, and that's what makes me panic most of all. I know where He belongs, and I begin to understand why things aren't going quite right- because He's not there.
It's not that He has left me. That has nothing to do with it. It's that I promise to pray for an hour and then decide that I would much rather watch "It's a Wonderful Life" and munch on Christmas cookies instead, or I decide to fast sugar for a week and then cave at the sight of fresh fudge sitting on the counter. It's not that God praises my good works, but that I leave Him in the dust as I follow my own desires.
That's what scares me.
But, guess what?
He's not scared.
All I need to do is hand myself over to Him. My heart, in particular, has been clogged by all that I ingest by this world. I take it in and accept it as true- "What do you want? How do you feel? Because that's what's important." We even make Christmas about ourselves.
Christmas.
And, the saddest part is, I'm afraid to hand myself over to Jesus. I willingly take in all that the world has to offer and believe it, but I'm reluctant to entrust myself into the hands of my dearest Friend.
Watch this video. Please? Pretty please? I promise you won't be wasting your time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viyoljLicqo&NR=1
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