The Wurst Day of My Lif

I stood in the dollar section of Toys R Us, back when there was a dollar section. I was barely five years old, and my mom and dad told me I could get whatever I wanted. I picked out a little diary with a lock (muahahaha!) and two keys in case one got lost. The little plastic-coated book was covered with rainbows, butterflies and unicorns.

Here's one of my first entries word for word:

3 bsambr (I think I meant December...)
to DAY We'er Pooting re CHRisMis CHRee up today i Like it
so we're i Hop i get to poot som uv tHem on.
AftR We go to geeet IAN AND Levi's to geet THAR HARE cut
tHe END

If you just read that, not only am I amazed, but I'm giving you a standing ovation here in my living room.

Anyway, to make a long story short, almost every diary entry said this: "dear dairy, this is the wrst day iv ever had. the end" When you're only six and your little life is just about perfect, the problems that make days the worst days of your life are pretty darn small. (For instance, if your brother steals the lollipop that you had been planning to eat after dinner, that day instantly becomes the worst day of your life.)

Unfortunately, I was only inspired to write when things weren't going my way, so the entire book is comprised of little-bitty Lauren saying, "This is worst day of my life!" (Just so you know, if your writing style is similar, I wouldn't advise reading your first diary out loud to your mother, because she'll start crying. And I especially advise against this if you happen to be the sort of person who crys when you see other people crying. And I really, really advise against this if your dad is down the hall when you both start crying and he gets really confused when people cry. And I....well, you get the picture.)

Now, when I look back at this fancifully-covered book of six year-old depression, I am amazed by how easily I became upset. What in the world did I have to be upset about? I had everything I could ever need, not to mention the comfort of being held in the arms of my perfect Jesus. In the same way that my "problems" are now laughable, I'll bet my King is watching the things I worry about now and saying, "I see the big picture, Lauren, and, believe Me, there's nothing to worry about."

And now I shall end with another uplifting quote from "Lauren's Diary":

"21tH januarer
Dear Diray,
MY DAD is mene mene mene
.tHe. END."