Nearly two years ago I started feeling guilty about my rather non-existent prayer life. I cut just about everything extra out of my life, (which, for me, was just about every kind of media,) and sat on my bedroom floor saying, "So...umm...God....you know, I just....," usually for an hour at a time, because of the whole "Could you not tarry for one hour?" thing. I thought maybe I could one up the disciples.
Looking back, I know that this season of my life was for a very specific purpose. I was addicted to television and books and movies and had no understanding of the very real presence of God. It was almost literally painful for me to saunter off to my bedroom in the evening when my family sat down to watch a favorite show or movie, but it was both a necessary procedure and a necessary pain.
Most of the time my stuttering prayers were mindless, and my thoughts were usually off in a completely different direction while my mouth spoke spiritual-sounding phrases to impress God as the seconds dragged on and on and on.
Now, I can just imagine Him smiling as He listened to my less-than-impressive words. He was probably always trying to get the point across to me that it has nothing to do with being polished and put-together, but I was usually too busy talking to let Him mention it.
Prayer is extraordinarily important. In fact, I believe it's the most important part of being a Christian. After all, being a Christian is all about our relationship with Jesus, and we can't possibly have a relationship with someone without some form of communication. The more intimate the communication, the more intimate the relationship. And the very definition of prayer is "spiritual communion with God."
Today God asked me to be honest with Him, and it really got me thinking. Often we assume that just because He knows exactly what we're thinking all of the time we don't need to tell Him what's on our mind. But there's something incredibly powerful about telling our precious Jesus everything on our hearts. It's when we communicate with Him the way that we're created to that our relationship with Him will flourish.
Am I there? No way. But I want to make it my goal to "pray without ceasing" the way that we're instructed to. And not always by staying in my room and praying for my list of requests, (though that's absolutely vital, too,) but by constantly, honestly opening up my heart to the One who may already know, but also desperately wants to hear.
"Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
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