In Spite of Me, Jesus

Several months ago, I found myself in front of the television watching a documentary that I had just recently heard about: Jesus Camp. The documentary follows several children who are absolutely passionate about Jesus Christ and are even willing to appear strange in order to shine a light for Him. About halfway through, it features a pastor who, at the time the film was made, was immensely popular. His church was huge, successful, and well-known.

My mother caught a glimpse of him and told me that it came out not too long after the documentary was made that the pastor had been having an affair with a woman for several years, and eventually decided to become bisexual.

"Wow," I said, glancing at his huge congregation. "I wonder how the members of his church felt about that. How disappointing for them to find that their leader was making such a huge mistake."

"Well, you know," my mother reminded me with her usual wisdom, "God doesn't compare sins- to Him it's no different from what you and I do."

Her comment got me thinking about my many, many, many flaws. And one of them is having the wrong motivation when it comes to doing things for God. Am I really living for His glory, or do I want it for myself? Usually I'm forced to be honest with myself and answer the latter.

Not long after all of this came up, I read Philippians 1:15-17:

"Some, to be sure, preach Christ out of envy and strife, but others out of good will. These do so out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; the others proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely..."

As I read, I inwardly shook my head, thinking of the fallen pastor, "Such a shame."

Then I kept reading.

"What does it matter? Just that in every way, whether out of false motives or true, Christ is proclaimed. And in this I rejoice."

Seriously, Paul? Is that the honest truth? Because, if it is, then I ought to rejoice, too! This means that whatever I do for Jesus, even if my heart isn't always pure and my motives aren't always Biblical, in spite of all the me that's in me, Christ can still be proclaimed and glorified.

What a gift.